Thursday, April 12, 2012

A Little Q & A

First of all, I want to say the BIGGEST THANK YOU!!! My FB and email inboxes were FLOODED last night with so many adoptive parents reaching out to me and sharing their stories with us. It’s amazing to know so many people who have gone through a similar situation. I am working hard on responding to each and every one of the emails/messages. Though I hate anyone would ever experience pain like this, it is also so comforting to know that we are not alone in knowing what’s it’s like. I am also, again, so humbled and appreciative for all your prayers and kind words. I don’t know how we would have gotten/get through this otherwise.

Among the outreach, several people have also had questions, which, I’m ok for people asking honestly. I’m sure I’d be curious and concerned too. Again, I don’t plan to answer all the questions out of respect and privacy reasons for both her and us, but I thought I’d address just a few of the bigger/easier/more appropriate ones here for all to read. Again, I’m in no way offended or hurt by any of the questions/comments that have been asked/said, there are just some things that I’m not comfortable with sharing and don’t think would be fair for me to answer.

**I would also like to ask that you insert an understood “As of today” before each of my answers. Things have been so up, down, back, front, left, right, inside, outside that I have decided I’m going to stop trying to be definite. God will work and could very well change these answers tomorrow-this afternoon for that matter. We are just focusing on being flexible and listening to His will…**

Are we still going to adopt?

Absolutely! And, we are EXCITED about it! I don’t see God ever changing this desire and plan for us.

From Korea?

As of today, yes. We feel that is where God wants us right now. Though, I’ll be honest… God has really had Haiti and Ethiopia on my heart a lot lately too… though we in no way meet the requirements of those countries right now. Maybe down the road??? And as always, I think I’ll forever have this unexplainable love for China, which is where our precious Caroline lives. But for today, Korea.

Do we think we will get another referral anytime soon?

Realistically, no. (And my earthly mind says my heart needs time to heal anyway.) To be incredibly frank, we were a smidge bit traumatized by this recent situation. We have drastically changed our SN preferences. Our agency has shared with us that they are not getting many Korean girl referrals at all, let alone ones with such minor/correctible needs, such as the ones Justin and I feel equipped to handle. However, I know that God is in the miracle business. Statistics don’t define when we will/will not get a referral. Right now, we are back to waiting. In six months or so, if there is absolutely no sign of movement we will reevaluate and see where we stand. God is bigger. If He wants us to wait, we’ll wait. If He doesn’t, we won’t. If He leads us to change programs/preferences/paths, we will. As of now, we’re “being still and knowing He is God.” Psalm 46:10.

Still a girl?

Again, we still think God has a daughter for us. We dream of almond brown eyes and black silky piggy tails tied up with pink ribbons. We are also already approved for a female child. We would have to do Home Study updates if we changed to be approved for a little boy. However, we are praying ferociously that if God wants us to be open to either gender that He move our hearts in an unmistakable way. I also want to clarify that we don’t value ‘girls’ more than ‘boys.’ We do, in fact, already have a little boy that we love more than life itself. Boys rock. We just are feeling our Ruby-Grace is still out there.

Are you still traveling with your friend to Korea to bring home her little boy?

Yep! Can. Not. Wait!!! I think it will be so good for me and hopefully, I will be a big help to her and Tay as well. Geez, I cannot even express how excited I am about this opportunity. And to be submersed in Asian culture for a week? Eeeek!!!! TC anyone?!

Will you “pu-leez” journal your experience in Korea?

Ummmm- we shall see. I definitely want the focus to be on Amanda and Taylor. However, as I stated yesterday, I seem to feel better after I write, so maybe? I hate to say one way or another. I know the experience will be very emotional for me even though I think it will be in an awesome way. And I may have a tail-kickin from jet lag. I’ve never traveled across the world before. So, I’m open to it. Again, taking it daily.

How are you, really?

Well, my friends, this is a smidge bit of a loaded question. Heartbroken? Yes. Sad? Yes. But, I am honestly ok. And I smile lots throughout each day. God has truly granted Justin and I the “peace that passes understanding.” However, as I told another friend earlier today, there is the occasional episode in the Home Depot Lighting Department where I’m sobbing my eyes out for no apparent reason. Thank goodness I have a WONDERFUL husband who is willing to give me a squeeze and an “I love you. It’s all going to be ok,” rather than being embarrassed and acting like he has no clue who that crazy lady is over there. Grief has no agenda and seems to rear its ugly head in the most random times/places. It will take time. To me, that should be a ‘given’ statement.

A question/statement combo.  Why don’t you , Can’t you or You and Justin should just have another baby./?

Welp- at this point, we don’t feel led to attempt to get pregnant. As far as we know, there would be no reason we couldn’t, per se, but to us, we just don’t feel led to go down that road at the moment. We do hope to one day actually birth another child (as I not-so-secretly hope to also adopt a second child.) But who knows? What’s that old saying? Want to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans? Again, we shall see, but we just aren’t feelin’ it at the moment.

Are you still running the auction blog/taking donations?

Yes and yes!  We are still doing all we can to raise money for the adoption.  I would be SO humbled for an adoption auction donation.  If you have something you'd like to donate (nothing too big or too small), please email me at  I do also have a few things sitting on my kitchen table that I need to list.  Ever since the holidays (were they really FOUR months ago?!) things have been CRAZY and I put the auction on the backburner.  I will make that my weekend goal and will do a big post once I've got a bunch of new stuff posted.  There are definitely some things you don't want to miss out on!!!

And the one that seemed the most random, but I guess is somehow relevant: How old are you and Justin and how long have you two been married?

I’d like to say we are a very mature ;) 25/27 year old couple who will be celebrating their five year anniversary this upcoming May 12!

As always, I do want to be as open and honest as I can (while keeping in mind that this is on the world wide web for all to see) with our lives on this blog, I do want to throw in a few occasional jokes and ‘happies’, and I do want to share my love of Jesus Christ in hopes that it may turn someone’s eyes toward Him. I hope this little Q&A answered some of the questions that may be flowing through your mind. If you have something specific you would like to know about adoption or our specific adoption journey, I’m happy for you to ask, and if I feel its appropriate or would benefit you/me to answer, I’d be happy to do so.

Again, thank you beyond words for your prayers and kind words. We’d be honored to continue to be lifted up. I’d like to close by saying that I believe God is doing GREAT things!!! We cannot wait to see all that He has up His sleeve!
God of wonders, beyond our galaxy
You are holy, holy
Precious Lord, reveal Your heart to me
Father hold me, hold me

4 kind thoughts:

Mary Louis Quinn said...

I wanted to get on and comment after your last post, but I was on my phone so I couldn't. I was SO heartbroken for y'all as I read your words. But you have amazing strength and perspective, and I know YOUR Ruby Grace is out there waiting on you. Praying for y'all! <3

Kristi said...

I'm a day late...
My heart is breaking for you.
May you all find peace and healing.
If you need support I have some pretty amazing personal stories about saying no and also finding out why someone else did.


Christy said...

Praying for you daily, glad to hear you're doing mostly OK and that God is granting you peace in this healing process.

I have heard other people share that sometimes you have to say no so that someone else has the opportunity to say yes, that this sweet girl is one that God has planned to bless another family.

Big hugs! Talk to you soon!

Kayce said...

Brooke...I'm catching up on blogs and I'm so sorry about this change of plans but your faithful attitude is inspiring! God has an amazing plan for you and Justin and while we have to go through valley's to get through His plan, He will never leave you. Many hugs to you and Justin and continued prayers for you guys.

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Our Adoption Timeline

  • June 19, 2011- We are officially "Paper Pregnant!" We have submitted our Waiting Child Application to Holt!
  • July 5, 2011- Submitted our formal Home Study Application to Villa Hope
  • September 6, 2011- Submitted all of our paperwork for our Home Study
  • October 8, 2011- Completed our First Home Visit
  • October 17, 2011- Completed our Second Home Visit
  • November 14, 2011- Home Study Approved
  • December 1, 2011- Filed our I600a
  • February 1, 2012- I600a Approval Letter
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