Day Two was a real eye opener for me. It was comprised of two main sessions,
both of which spoke volumes to me.
Carissa Woodwyk is a Korean adoptee in her late thirties, who so
selflessly shared her personal adoption story and testimony. To see such raw emotion as she spoke
about her adoption story-even after 38 years of life was really eye
opening. Her passion, is that
adoptive parents remember that the voice of the adoptee is often not heard, but
is the most important and special voice in the adoption trilogy because they
are the only one who doesn’t have a choice
in the matter. (birth family,
adoptive family, adoptee).
Carissa talked about the studies done of the brain and the
unborn child in utero and how even in the womb, the circle of trust can start
to break for a child that is being put up for adoption (or who’s mother is
going through something tragic in general).
As I listened to her, my heart just kept stinging over and
over and over again. I realized
that as much as I am crying and longing for a child to call my own, the moment
of pure elation I will have upon receiving Ruby Grace will most likely be one
of the most heartbreaking and tragic moments for both her and her birth
family. It really put my heart
into place. As I am sitting here
longing for my child and wishing that moment would happen, ummmm, like
yesteryear, I’m also (inadvertently) wishing for another Mommy to do the
unthinkable. To make one of the
hardest and most life changing decisions for both her and her baby. Uhg. It was really really deep. Extremely thought provoking.
But through Carissa’s openness and transparency, I have
learned more than ever that “the voice of the heart matters most.” Ahhh. LOVED Carissa.
She gave me so much to meditate on. I bought her book and cannot wait to dive into all she
has to teach me. (She was also
precious to talk to one-on-one and graciously signed my book-though I think it
was slightly embarrassing for her how star struck I was by her.)
Then, I had my Date
with God. It is a room they
had set up with many different stations: A soaking tent-to soak up God’s
presence, a cross and Bibles-to read His word at His feet, a prayer/blessing
station- to choose a verse of encouragement that had been prayed over for us
and to receive a prayer from someone who was there to encourage us, a prayer
wall to write our prayers down and to pray for at least three others, a
painting station- to paint what God was saying to you, a clay (play dough)
modeling station-to mold what God was speaking to you, and a station where
someone could pray over you.
Initially, I thought an hour was an extreme amount of time
to do all of those stations, but then, I was beyond surprised at how few I
actually got to. I went to a few
stations, but spent the majority of my time at the painting and modeling
stations. And I painted a picture
of what I thought God was telling me my family would look like after our
adoption.
I’ve really been struggling lately with whether or not we
should look at other adoption programs.
My heart is set on Asia, but I’ve always been nervous that my heart is
deceiving me. (The heart is deceitful above all
things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9) So, my main prayer was that God make known to me His
path for our adoption.. Do we
stick out this major issue with Korea or do we try a different path? Should we consider domestic? Africa? Europe? And as
I prayed and prayed that God make His plan for us the desires of our hearts, I
found myself painting our family, with the addition of a precious Asian
daughter. I don’t know if she’s
Korean, Taiwanese, Hong Kongian, (is this a word?!), Chinese, etc, but at least
in this very moment, I feel 110% that our daughter is in Asia.
He also kept laying on my heart Ecclisiastes 3:11 He has made EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL in HIS TIME. I found myself painting this scripture
reference on my picture as well.
It was a breath of fresh air cooling me off. Renewing me and reminding me that Faith in God includes faith in His timing. ~Neal A. Maxwell I found it odd that this verse was speaking so
loudly to me during our date. It’s
a verse I’ve heard often and have always thought it was pretty, but had never
really felt God speak through it the way
He was. It was one of the most
prominent times I have heard God speak.
Enjoy this time in your life.
Because even though it isn’t going the way you thought it would, I am
making EVERYTHING, not just the fun, not just the glamorous, not just the easy,
but EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL and I’m doing it in MY TIME.
I am currently looking for a frame to put my painting
in. It’s not a masterpiece by any
standards, but I feel like it’s my own little ‘text message’ from God giving me
a little squeeze of encouragement.
And then? In
the next session, Andrea spoke and gave a testimony about…..God’s perfect timing. All right, all right- I get it. Boy can we say when God speaks, He
speaks clearly??! She shared how through a hosting/adoption opportunity she was
so upset by God because He was CLEARLY ‘late.’ And yet, in the end He blessed her and this precious child
with a family through miracles only He can perform. He blessed everyone involved more than they could ask for or imagine. Ephesians 3:20. It was
powerful. And a total confirmation
for us to just chill in His presence.
Because He’s got this. And if He’s going to change the path
that we are on, we will hear Him telling us to do so-in His time. And if we are just supposed to sit back
and wait-which currently we do- He will keep reaffirming that-which He is
doing.
(And I know that I’m not doing any of these stories
justice-I mainly just want to jot down the major points so that I can go back
and review my weekend. It was sooooo
busy, and frankly a lot of a blur, but SO moving.)

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